Euphoria

Sometimes I overthink things.

I fall in love with words - Momentarily. They make my heart sing and then it stings afterwards. Surely that isn't normal.
Of course it isn't normal because i am not.

I've been doing a lot of research lately. Is this overthinking? Or am i just being stupid?

I cant even explaun because i know someone will read this and click onto what im saying and i cant have that. This is fucking crazy. Even more fucking crazier than the fact that i have felt the bottom of this slope for far too long. I dont even want to go back up, i cant take losing my stomach again. Its the worst feeling the world. Its something you can get addicted to - like music.

Why cant there just be a middle level? Like everyone else has. Where nothing falls off the bar...too low or too high.

I dont like being happy and then feeling nothing inside. I hate this. Self dwelling...self loathing...

This cant be inbetween. It cant. Can it?

This mountain hits the south side of the wind. It sucks everything away like a tundra and there is me all alone because i cant handle having anyone up here with me.

Now i know why im afraid of fucking heights.

Can't think of a suitable title

I dont really know what to write about but i guess i should. Otherwise ill go crazy again.

Tis the open mic night in about a week - I've started work on the opening song but it isnt perfect yet. I would post the lyrics but im not sure if i have it on my pen drive. Hmm.

Anyway - i've been having a lot of wierd dreams lately. The one last night was especially odd. :/

Official Shizz.

Now I know how you've all been waiting but here is the first official picture of mine and Birdo's love children. Theres only one because they all look the same :)

(L) Birdo

Grr Take 2.

Gah,

I can't get onto myspace - the one thing i actually want to go on.

This is so infuriating, i think my heads gonna implode by the end of the day. Stupid hotmail. Stupid Computer. Stupid day.

Birdo (L)

Last day,

Fucking hell.

I dont want anyone to understand.

Oh my gosh

This is my third blog in the pst two hours!

Grawr. I hate it when i think - it sets my impulses off on over drive.

But I've been thinking about the gig next month at the Marrs Bar. I really need to put my setlist together. So i'm allowed to play four songs, which should be cool, so long as i can find three that i've written myself. Now that isn't neccesary to the gig but it is to my heart.

Why do I have to be so difficult?

Anyway, so after much debate i've come up with a rough guestimate.

1. ????
2. Daylight is your arch enemy. (title subjected to change)
3. The (shipped) gold standard/ Pavlove (both covers)
4. Ties

I have no idea what to open with, i guess it should be in major but i have two awesome songs to play then! I could either play 'Without I'm just me.' Of which is written about a story im writing so it actually has a meaning that can be followed OR i could play 21 thinking about it...but its only 2 minutes long. Hmm OR i could play this chord sequence thing.

Ruddy Heck.

Anyway, because im bored it think im gonna put the lyrics up for 'Daylight is your arch enemy' purely for my own pleasure.

Laying slain to the summertime,
Heels over heed for the diamond of the wind.
Sometimes the sun shines a brighter light on my
Down, down, down sharded skin.

The words speak a larger line,
Than the picture thats cropped between this stream.
My love was drawn to a second spie,
Onto the melody that you fell down
With, with, with it struck you down.

Pinch me if I'm dreaming.
Send it all home for the weekend.
Pinch me if i'm dreaming because,
Nothing this good ever strikes down on me.

Your addiction to my moonshine,
Like the sugar thats glaced around my eyes.
Sometimes the sun shines a brighter light,
Its like a staple thats etched onto your
Down, down, down on your skin.

Pinch me if I'm dreaming.
Send it all home for the weekend.
Pinch me if i'm dreaming because,
Nothing this good ever strikes down on me.

And the sugar nectar thats glazed around my eyes,
You always wondered how prestine it was implied.
And the sugar nectar thats glazed around my eyes,
You always wondered how prestine it was implied.

Laying slain to the summertime,
Heels over heed for the diamond of the wind.
Sometimes the sun shines a brighter light on my
Down, down, down sharded skin.

Pinch me if I'm dreaming.
Send it all home for the weekend.
Pinch me if i'm dreaming because,
Nothing this good ever strikes down on me. X2

Badabingbadabong. Well erm yeah, it needs work. Majorly but i like it. And ftr this was a mind map blog so erm...before anyone comments on the lyrics they don't truly come alive until theyre sung. So yeah.

FraMeworkkk.

Look into the lines and see the bigger picture - No?

I'm the invisible chick in the mirror.

Pavolvee.
I'm listening to Pavlove again. Its fun to say tbh.

Anyway, last night was fun. I think me and katy drank the majoroty of the lambrini (of which is made of lambs blood) besides Erin, Milly, Jenna and Emma. Seriously though, my head was spinning when i got home - so i fell alseep on my bed and woke up at 3am hungry.

We played 'have you ever.' What a lol. Its far more interesting when your in a room with people you know but not incredibly well. Thank god someone asked 'Have you ever made out with a ginger person?' to one person and not the table - I wouldnt have let that down. Good night though, Jenna is an awesome cook tbh.

Anyway.

Today is different - hmmm...I said I said I said. So i guess i should do something before it gets to far.

Badabing. Inside jokes are the best :)

My hoover children - aha tasha and Loz ;) wink wink.

Anyway, anyway, anyway.

Happy mothers day mum, love you.

Decisions

You can get addicted this.
I think. Resentment would be a better word still but all the more harsh but i think i'm making myself ill.
I think.
I think we need to cut the cord because it suffacates us all.
I think we need to take that leap before push comes to shove.
I think this ship is failing - and there is no life jacket left for me.
But thats okay because drowning can't be that bad, its what i deserve.

Right this second - every second is almost slowing.

You know when you pretend to understand someone elses problems just to be the better friend? When you interfere to make yourself feel better? Sometimes we don't need that. We don't need comments of advice because sometimes words can't speak.

Now thats defeating.

My belief is the one thing i cannot seek. Now I know why the world has athiests.

Nothing ever changes,

This is not 'overeacting.'

All the voices just, shut up.
It was at my fault to be in the situation i am in, but to kick me when im down?
Thanks, I'm glad I know because if it doesn't matter much to what these 'friends' think. To comply behind my back is one thing, but to question when in pain? Well now we all know where we stand right?

I'm not 'overeacting', in fact, I expected this. Because it happens everytime. In one way or another, the bitterness doesn't always have to taint a sentance, I can tell just by the way you glance at me. It still doesn't change how this stab in the back feels though.

I expected this, but not from you.

Anyway to those whom care,

Neither my elbow or wrist is broken after much debate. But i cannot move either, canes to high heaven, but that would be overeacting wouldn't it?

Grrr Im a grizzly bear!

"helen licks poo" Happy face =]

"Of course i do." Stern face.

Me and Laura are in formtime being bored and Tashy can't spell communication xD
I also just trapped my hand (good) between the chair and the table.

Art cw is due in today, not goodd and happen to be 'gay' apparently thats sehr stereotypical dont cha think?
Im not really

Go youtube the pussy cat dolls simlish version of dont cha
Its funny and laura has it in her head.

Oh oh and petes in csi ny a week wednesday ohmnomnomnomnomnomnom.com =]