The verdict.

WATCH CSI:NY TONIGHT XD

oh

and i have a virusss, not a computer virus, probably glandular fever. Ahahahahaha.

:(

You know how I do.

"This is a bad idea, oh this is a damn bad idea." The words trembled from your lips in a whisper.

Its summer in mid-town, the trembling sun creeps behind the overcast clouds and the sidewalk waits patiently for a thunderstorm. I am in New York, you are in Chicago. Part of that statement makes my heart tremble, because where this is isn't where either of us are meant to be. I stole your honey, and you drank mine - both far to innocent to see what was directly in front of us. And you know what? Yesterday that wouldn't have mattered but the voices that line the streets scare me now your gone. The thunderstorm strikes commencing the rain to pound down hard onto the cold hard ground outside. On cue the phone rings and your soothing voice calms my tears, but what for?

"For you silly," A smile send shivers down my spine, I'm gonna sleep tonight.

Short story.

Spring lets new romances flourish, the feeling of something new but not for me, oh that has never been the case. It's very easy to slip beneath the cracks in a hormone infested school, and it's very difficult to pull yourself back up. You of all people should know that this is rellevent in both minds right now.

Summer lets the warm taunts from the sun flaunt from many bodies, the hot heat pursing off everyone yelling, "Lets do something reckless." I on the otherhand prefer to sit on the grass and watch the morphed clouds march along singing in tune to the lack of rhythmn in my cage.

Autumn, autumn sets my soul on fire - ignites the shards of glass and leaves behind honey glazed walls around the rim of my cage. Its suffocating to stop it, it's easy to hide it.

Winter lets my feelings erase, like the cold crevasses of the arctic summer, watching you is icy torture but it's something I will endure for a year.

Once whole year, and thats when the moment is spiked over. Watching you together, something I could see happen right before my eyes, I let it happen due to the ignorance I played. Oh the Irony.

But yet, we grow closer, my heart grows warmer and the smile from your other half wears thin - this isn't how I wanted it to play out my dear. The demon growl rages thicker, and soon enough this will all implode. Left behind though, is simply you and I.

Knot your fingers through mine, my dear. I will never let go, and that's a promise I can take to my grave. You see, I've been waiting so long for you, these words have been strapped to my cage so long for you. Laced with honey, attacked with stones, but one thing I am certain is that I love you, and darlin' that is true.

This feeling, oh this feeling is forever.

Lol

My hoodie is in the UK :)

Hell yeah, but Im ill..

AND

There was a frigging snake in my garden this afternoon. I almost died, my mum didnt want to kill it. But i did, naturally. I was so scared though, it was disgusting and brown and pissed off. It bit the broom! Ahhhhh. We need a dog.

Time flies.

I can't believe it's been one whole year.

I look back and this sinking feeling seems to have been irrelevant until this day.

I just want you to know I miss you so much, and I know things are easier now - right this moment your probably walking up on those hills with your dogs. I will never forget you because you were such a huge influence on my child hood and theres no way I can thank you for that than being the best I can.

I love you.

Your Not Sorry.

All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around
I’ve been giving out chances everytime and all you do is let me down
And its taking me this long but baby I figured you out
And you think it will be fine again but not this time around

You don’t have to call anymore
I won’t pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don’t want to hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you’re sorry
But I won’t believe you baby like I did before
You’re not sorry no more, no more, no

Lookin’ so innocent
I might believe you if I didn’t know
Could’a loved you all my life
If you hadn’t left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I’m tired of being last to know
And now you’re asking me to listen
Cuz its worked each time before

But you don’t have to call anymore
I won’t pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don’t want to hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you’re sorry
But I don’t believe you baby like I did before
You’re not sorry no no no noo
You’re not sorry no no no noo

You had me calling for you honey
And it never would’ve gone away no
You use to shine so bright
But I watched our love it fade

So you don’t have to call anymore
I won’t pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There’s nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you’re sorry
But I won’t believe you baby like I did before

If I could write like that I'd never moan :P

...and my demons share my bed at night.

May Day.

Ah, always a fun occasion but this year was even better. I kept my promise to my mum to not go and drink but it was kind of funny to watch everyone else *cough* Zoe *cough*

I can see now why she doesn't drink.

It was still pretty cool though, hanging out with old friends, making new ones and most importantly it means summer isn't too far away. So I guess thats cool.

Whats scary now is how close the exams are, the exams I am not ready for.

But...things with my mind, erm, well I'm sure now that its true - the one thing i never asked for - its real. That scares the hell out of me because it's something i can't deal with. I can't form the right words to explain.Oh yeah, i bought a hoodie on friday :) (the one above) it's amazing ennit?

ETA: A dedication to you tomorow...