June 2.

Dear whomever,

One day we are all going to wake up, and when we do it's going to hurt. Currently I am taking off the comatose wires which once held me in a restless sleep and now the music is pumping through the walls. I am, I am ready to be new again. I would like an attempt at shiny - a 'clean break.' Easier to heal that way.

Never i am going to be pain free but this moment is enough to make myself hope for a better exhistance than the current affairs. But i am, I am ready to be new again, aren't you?

Finders Keepers

You got a nerve
Giving me the cold shoulder
Giving me the twice over, thats not deserved.
And well talk, again when youre sober
you said that ive got cold, our heat has gone
I wanna be in your eyes; so you can see, what youve done
I wanna be in your ears; so you can hear, everything thats been missing

Finders keepers
Will you keep me in mind
I like secrets
Cause they keep me in line
Old habits die hard
But Im too young to die

I guess its a mess
That you make your best
So why are we still laying in it
And I could barely sleep, I could I barely eat and its been three whole weeks since I heard you speak
So youre sober today, feeding months of bills to break
Oh learn your mistakes
Especially ones youve made
(I bet youre sorry)

Finders keepers
Will you keep me in mind
I like secrets
Cause they keep me in line
Old habits die hard
But Im too young to die

Finders keepers
The whole thing is a lie
You wont find her
Cause shes too hard to find
So my advise and only run a mile

And have another drink
And then think this one over
Youll dig yourself a grave, everyday, when youre sober
You see, what I mean, at your best interest your all overme
I could never be what you need.

Finders keepers
Will you keep me in mind
I like secrets
Cause they keep me in line
Old habits die hard
But Im too young too die

Finders keepers
The whole thing is a lie
You wont find her
Cause shes too hard to find
So my advise and only run a mile
And I bet, you guess, me right
(you guess me, yes, you guessed me right)
I bet you guess me right.

Not my words, but Joshua Franicantspellsci, the whole damn song tells a story i have read far to many times to count. I love songs like that, a bit like the shipped, songs that i can relate directly too. Metaphorically speaking of course.



New song from You me at six - listen to it

"You've got a nerve..."

I love how every single word is seperated, adds to a really good effect, hits hard doesn't it?

Melachonic Happiness

Good morning, Good Evening, Goodnight.

Tis a strange feeling this. I feel like i have been injected with a boost of happiness, i like it, but i hate what its masking. There i go again, the ole pessimism kicking in like an upthrust. You see lately, i have found myself wondering what it would feel like to be in love. I mean properly in love. I hate how the majority of kids my age go round spreading off the 'L' word like theres no tomorow - "Yeah, so er, we've been going out a day i think it's about time I told you how much you mean to me. I luff youuu." Pleh! Go to a dark place, i am talking about an actual metaphoric dark place where it makes you shake thinking of it - and then after getting out of that month peril still carry the same feelings you did before. I mean seriously, sure there are some exceptions but i think to be in love, really in love, it would take more than that :/

Oh dear, there i go offending everyone. Again.

Aha note - im not holding back on the sarcasm today.

Now back to that feeling. I'm not sure if it is love, but i would like to think it is. But i doubt it, nothing that good ever strikes down on me.

Lol.

The fun of everything...

Uggh!

Right now i wish i could be sucked up into a hole.

I cant even close my fucking door - great.

Sink into me

"Y'all that lie here be ye crazy sinners."

So this morning i woke up with one of those lines in your head. You may or may not know, i think it depends on how your brain works, but its like when theres just a sentance running around and flares off and idead. Then your head runs in overdrive - a bit like a rollarcoaster.

Some ideas are good, some are bad. But that happens.

I have been playing around with a lot of ideas lately, but i really want to write about something thats real. So it clicked this morning. True Love. Its real, its rare and the mojority of us won't see it through our lifetime. Depressing but real.

Choices effect everything we do - but thats all i am gonna say because i need to get this shit written down. I dont really want anyone stealing my idea. Haha. *So fickle Helen*

I think i might go get it all written down now :)

Folie

"I am the invisble man who can't stop staring in the mirror."

I sometimes think that I'm going

c
r
a
z
y...

I know that sometimes i most certainly should be. Theres enough error bars flashing above my head to allow this to be a reality. But then what if this was all an illusion? That right there, that's probably why i think i am going crazy.


I would really like to open up my heart to someone right now, but i can't, theres this block around my cage, possibly even a lock? When that feeling returns it seems to just suffocate it, numb it out like a tranquiliser. Thats surely not normal? Who needs drugs when we have hormones eh?

Its all just hormones. And one day when all of the pressure is simply sucked away the true danger of a teenage ways will truly become apparent.

Scars line the back side of my cage, scars are stitched onto us all.

Also...

Another revelation that is apparent for this blog is for some reason i have fallen in love with Liar (takes one to know one) again.

:)

"Somerthing make my chest stir."

Pavlove.

Wanna go to a disco?

"Let's Drop."

I love Elliot Minor they have that amazing ability of shining up my world when everything seems drop bottom. I knew they'd be touring soon but they have just gone and picked a perfect time to do so to be honest. So here is a small advertisement to those that know me:

So my car has three seats in the back and if you wanna come along pm me on msn. Tickets are £15 (freaking cheap!) and i need to know before next tuesday cause i would like to buy them before they go on general sale since its at such an intimate venue.

But what about GCSE's?

Well its in July, the 2nd to be precise, so the exams'll all be done so we can go early hopefully meet the guys and get a good spot at the front :)

Interested? Sweet Dude.