I fall in love with words - Momentarily. They make my heart sing and then it stings afterwards. Surely that isn't normal.
Of course it isn't normal because i am not.
I've been doing a lot of research lately. Is this overthinking? Or am i just being stupid?
I cant even explaun because i know someone will read this and click onto what im saying and i cant have that. This is fucking crazy. Even more fucking crazier than the fact that i have felt the bottom of this slope for far too long. I dont even want to go back up, i cant take losing my stomach again. Its the worst feeling the world. Its something you can get addicted to - like music.
Why cant there just be a middle level? Like everyone else has. Where nothing falls off the bar...too low or too high.
I dont like being happy and then feeling nothing inside. I hate this. Self dwelling...self loathing...
This cant be inbetween. It cant. Can it?
This mountain hits the south side of the wind. It sucks everything away like a tundra and there is me all alone because i cant handle having anyone up here with me.
Now i know why im afraid of fucking heights.
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